We have been living in Delhi for a long time, but we belong to a place called Raebareli. The majority of the girls in our neighborhood, in the community, are taught to stay within their lane, and not be too loud or ambitious. I guess my upbringing was slightly different in that sense. When I came of age, my parents asked me if I wanted to get married. I refused because I wanted to work, earn and contribute to the family income. At that time, we were also going through a rough patch financially. They understood and supported my aspirations. In fact, it was their unflinching trust that a barely 19-year-old me stepped out of the house when the other girls were enjoying marital bliss. It’s almost been two decades; I have never let my parents down. And needless to say, these years have been incredibly fulfilling in terms of work, learning, growth, and self-reflection.
It was 2004. I had just finished school and was searching for work. An acquaintance introduced me to the Swami Sivananda Institute of Fine Arts and Crafts (SSMI). They were looking to hire a health assistant, and despite no field knowledge, my interest in caregiving fit the bill. They hired me. My job was to provide emergency care to the kids. I was given proper training in medical terminology, how to administer medicine, how to bandage a wound, and how to appease a child. The role came with its challenges, but every day brought some pleasures too. Seeing a smile on a child’s face kept me going. I learned how to prioritize other people’s needs. A quality that took me far ahead in my journey.
Three years later, SSMI offered me a more challenging and empowering role. Delhi government had launched a Gender Resource Center under the scheme “Bhagidari: New Initiatives in Social Development.” A few team members and I were responsible for kicking off this project at SSMI. Initially, my role involved visiting all the nearby communities, generating awareness among people around this project and gathering data on how many people wanted to learn stitching, computer, or any other activity. Then in 2008, I switched to the role of a help desk officer and maintained a record of people who visited SSMI and enrolled themselves to be a part of GRC. I also handled queries and organized programs. Looking at its solid start, the responsibility of the entire project eventually fell upon our shoulders.
From being a naïve, underconfident, small-town girl to handling a team of 15 people and managing the holistic implementation of the GRC project, things were moving quickly for me. I was at the forefront of everything – coordinating and ensuring the fulfilment of project requirements, working at the grassroots level, understanding the gaps, sharing them with the concerned authorities, and helping the beneficiaries avail the benefits. I worked long hours. The pressure was immense, but all the gruelling was worth the learning I received in return. Seeing the GRC project wind up in 2016 was heartbreaking for me because I felt deeply connected to it. It gave me an excellent opportunity to work within the community and help people live better. After the closure of the GRC project, I moved back to the health department and became a part of the “Vision for All” campaign. I also handled the responsibility of a library in charge. During COVID, my focus shifted entirely to women empowerment projects.
In the last 19 years, I have worked on some of the most diverse and versatile assignments. All of which have challenged me in their own way. And, if I have been able to beat those challenges and perform, it is because of the unflinching support I have received from SSMI, especially from the Director of the institute, Ms Sunita Bhasin. She believed in me when I doubted my capabilities. She gave me bigger responsibilities and valued my input. Throughout my professional journey, Sunita Ma’am has been my sounding board.
My professional growth so far has also positively influenced my personal growth. I have become more wise, confident, independent and solution-oriented. I respond to stressful situations in a much better way. And most importantly, I have stopped confining myself to one little box. My aspirations have grown over time. I have learned the importance of being financially sound. I strive to do better every single day.
There was a time when I used to leave my house for work, and people in my neighbourhood would stare and pass sleazy comments like, “Job karne ja rahi hai ya kya karne jaa rahi hai, kya pata!”. A few years later, the tables turned when the women in my neighbourhood became a part of SSMI (through a project or otherwise). The same people who once gossiped and passed comments now appreciated and thanked me for empowering their daughters, sisters, and wives. I feel grateful to be in this position where I can help and guide people to do better.
The irony, however, is that even after so many years, people ask me – why don’t you get married?
Do I want to get married? Yes. Has it been easy to find a match? No.
Unfortunately, that’s the flip side of being ambitious and successful. You realize what you deserve and refuse to settle for anything lesser than that.
